You can't spell "obstetrician" without "bacon".
So Olivia…
I think you just made it too easy for me this time. I mean c’mon. Cravings. Avocado. Cake. Bacon. You’re basically handing me the launch code to a pregnancy/food joke hydrogen bomb. But I’m not going to use it. Nope. Mainly, because I’ve already touched on these topics before in my previous posts. And I don’t like doubling up on subjects against the dealer’s hand. So lets try something new. Let’s take each one of your cravings and cold-read what you really think and feel.
Cake- It’s rich in sugar. Especially if there is frosting around it. A cake could give you a huge sugar rush. Maybe you want something sweet. Maybe you want that rush. Sweet. Rush. It’s obvious what you really want. Love. But more specific. It’s the “I think I love you” Love. That type of love is sweet. It’ll give you a rush. My suggestion: Ask G for this on your birthday.
Pinkberry Yogurt- Yogurt is white, creamy, sugary. You pay by the ounce. Okay, I think I should stop. This can get bad real quick. My suggestion: Uhhh…*cough*…let’s move on.
Hash Brown - Potatoes. Shredded then fried on a pan. Savory. Potatoes have been the staple of many cultural diets. In fact, villages been built around the harvest of the potato crop. So potato represents life. Basically, you want to take you life and shred it/go wild, so you can savor it. My suggestion: Go wild this weekend.
Sunny-side up egg - Sunny-side up represents optimism. Egg represents fertility. If the moon is correct, your femininity could be strong this weekend. My suggestion: Wear your favorite dress.
Avocado - Green. Deceptively fatty. Makes guacamole. This represents indulgence. You seem to have many desires that you just can’t wait to satisfy. My suggestion: Satisfy them.
Chocolate - Sweet. Savory. Great with strawberries. You seem to be craving a little romance. But then again who doesn’t. You may need some quicker than you think. My suggestion: Don’t be afraid to set the mood.
Cauliflower - White. Bland. Gross. C’mon. Who eats cauliflower? That stuff is gross. My suggestion: Don’t eat cauliflower. That stuff is gross.
Well if you follow all these soothsayer suggestions, then it seems you will have a fantastic weekend. But if you’re smart enough to realize that following these suggestions will lead to something more specific, then you are correct. All these suggestions lead to your final craving: bacon.
Bacon - You can’t spell “obstetrician” without “bacon”. Congrats, you’re pregnant.
That, by the way, is one completely absurd and lengthy way to make a joke about pregnancy.
-Not Olivia
